Publication date edited to reflect time of actual writing. Posted much later on 6/24/2022.
Wow - am I really doing this? Okay, yes. I’m doing this.
I had a dream last night (wait, sit back down…sit…) that kept me awake the rest of the night. Now I am not typically the type to give much attention to dreams - I’m not someone who believes in crystal healing, or Astrology, or messages from beyond the physical plane, or most supernatural stuff (I eat it up as fiction, though). So the fact that a dream actually affected me the way it did is itself unusual. We’ll get back to that though.
I do however, have a somewhat complicated relationship with the idea of God. I grew up in a pretty religious family, went to church and Sunday school, went to confirmation at 13, took communion until I was about 25. In my adult life though, I have for the most part lost any real belief in a personal entity that goes by the name of “God.” But old reflexes die hard, and occasionally I still do a kind of praying, if you can really call it that - it usually starts with “Hey, I know that if you are there I’m the last person who should be asking for things, but just in case…” So after another day that had me in a pretty conflicted place with respect to the work I do, and after a workout class which left me so lightheaded that I could barely stand, while trying to catch my breath I reached out silently to my whatever-might-be-listening-but-probably-isn’t version of a higher power and asked for one of two things - inspiration for the infuriating powerpoint slides I needed to create, or direction on what I should be doing instead of creating infuriating powerpoint slides. Then I went home, ate a pork chop, read a chapter of a novel about a menacing other dimension that is encroaching on our own (see? what did I say?), and went to sleep.
So the dream (sit…siiiiit back down…sit…) The first thing I remember was that I was supposed to be giving some kind of talk or running a workshop (probably involving infuriating powerpoint slides) that for some reason was going to take place in a church. No significance there necessarily - my kid’s piano recitals used to take place in one. The group was assembling outside, but there was a problem - the actual congregation was already in there, and waiting for a service. Which for some reason I was going to deliver. Now how I was going to handle two events at once, both of which expected to use the same space and one of which was distinctly outside my wheelhouse, was causing my dream-self some pretty heavy anxiety. In the back of my mind I was thinking “well, maybe we can move the workshop to the other building…but then how am I going to be in both places…? damn damn damn…” In that weird advancing-without-logic way that dreams have, the next thing I was doing was, well, giving the sermon to the congregation (all the while aware that the workshop group was waiting outside the sanctuary). The first thing I find myself doing is showing a video of Mickey Mouse - the sorcerer’s apprentice version - channeling “winning energy” into the Los Angeles Chargers (who were a basketball team in my dream - not really a sports fan). It’s wearing him out - he’s got guys holding him up, and lightning is flying out of his fingers into the team. Somehow the point is that he’s a conduit blah blah doesn’t matter because the congregation is eating it up. They love this! It’s Mickey Freakin’ Mouse, and they are going bonkers.
My dream-self is now conflicted because clearly this is what this crowd needs and wants - someone to channel blessings/power/what-have-you into them. I of course don’t really believe in this, even in my dream…but it seems to be what’s needed. So I see this little girl, like 3 years old, and tell everyone that SHE is going to bless them all. I realize that at some point the workshop folks have joined the congregation, and they too are totally going with it. The little girl is psyched, because she’s the center of all this excitement. I’m thinking “well, if this is what they need…I’ll give it to them.”
Apparently things went well, because the next thing I know I’m walking away from the church feeling pretty good about things. I’m walking across this field that has some sort of sitting area at the other end, and there’s this older (late 50’s?), heavy-set woman all in black sitting there, looking disapproving but with that kind of “okay, you pulled a fast one - but it’s the last one” kind of smirk. She says she’s from some government oversight agency that had a name I can’t remember but certainly doesn’t exist, and tells me I won’t be doing that again. “What’s the problem?” I ask, “We were just having a meeting.” “Well, from now on you can only meet for one minute, and can’t talk about any of that stuff” “I think we can, and will - we’ll talk about whatever we want!” “Oh really?”
And then I woke up feeling like a conversation had just been interrupted. A conversation I wanted to continue, but don’t know how.