Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Who wants to see these two things fight?

I know I do.

Missed Opportunities for Inappropriate Behavior

Yesterday, I entered the lobby of the office building in which I come to do my daily work for Dazzling Company of Masterful Success. It was raining pretty hard, and I had my umbrella. I saw that there was a 14-foot stepladder folded open right in the path coming in from the door. It took the full measure of my restraint to refrain from opening my umbrella, right underneath the ladder. How I longed for a mirror, some salt, a black cat or two...

Then today, someone sent me a text announcing that she was "expecting 12-24 inches in my parts" and would therefore likely need to work from home...

All I could say was "yikes."

I tell you, sometimes, it's just not fair that I have to be a grown-up professional type person. My inner Bill Murray wants out. And I'm talking about the Caddy Shack/Home on the Range/Meatballs Bill Murray, not the Razor's Edge one. Yes I know it's the same guy. You know what I mean.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Portrait of the Author as a Somewhat Younger Man

In what was probably the least valuable way I could conceivably have spent the last hour and a half - including playing Wii Table Tennis or simply eating honey-roasted peanuts until they start to back up my esophagus (oh wait, I actually did that last thing...) - I collected the postings from my old blog and re-posted them here, back-dated to their original date of creation.

Mostly this was something I did to feel better about canceling the hosting account that supports that site. I mean, hey, in this day and age, $17.50 a month is worth saving, isn't it?

Reading back over it all as I copied-and-pasted, some of it I still find kinda funny. And man, how badly do I wish the kiddos at O.C. Chopper actually had made a "Pope Benedict Chopper..."